| Living |
[Jan. 10th, 2004|12:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Well, im alive. Alyssa, screw you. thats all ill say, no more flaming that which is no longer existent to me. Went to the Y, ashley was there, shes cool. her or becky.... maybe another person. the three ppl ide consider dating. choosing, how douched is that. and if i choose one the other gets hurt. thats even more douched. *shrugs* enjoying the being single thing for a lil bit before i get back in a relationship. Being single is nice, i keep thinking and all i can see are the faces of that in my past. When i think now and see the faces some that used to be there dont show up. I guess that means they have vanished from my life. *shrugs* dont care, not starting.
*vanishes* |
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|
| Yeah, Life is going downhill |
[Jan. 8th, 2004|05:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
Aight, so im single. Yeah and that fucking sux, like jen and i were an awesome couple. Things didnt work out, i failed in the relationship. You know how it feels to watch your relationship fall apart and not be able to do a stupid ass thing. heres a hint, it fucking sux! ok, back to life. ok, as if us breaking up isnt bad enough, and hard on her for that matter, her friend josh dies. Now ive talked to this guy, and he was cool so when i had to tell her about it i choked while i was typing. Needless to say it sux.
Ok, next piece of life. Getting over it. Now, i was trying to dodge the situation at all turns. but it was inevitable. Ok, now background on the situation to unfold. To start i went to the movies with alyssa, and we saw lotr yeah good movie. Somewhere along the lines she mixed up fantasy and fiction. I might be flirty, but she sure as hell knows never again. Ide never kiss her or any of that shit. She was convinced i was, and was all worried and shit. wtf! ok theres the background of the start of me being pissed when she posted about it in her lj. then she posts later that i make her laugh about saying i wouldnt and shit. In that same entry she tells how im weak and shit with jen and i screwed up. you think i dont fucking know that bitch! its kinda fucking obvious that i couldnt keep the relationship going. but hey keep it up right? She also said it was all the small stuff. what the fuck do you know alyssa? were u part of the relationship at all. of couse not. so to end it all im sitting here caring. I care because i thought she was my fucking friend, yet she just had to post to the world about the god damn obvious that is beating the shit outta my mind. *shrugs* theres always the punching bag
*vanishes* |
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| Life |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|02:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
My life is boring. Im doing nothing. Hopefully ill get smashed on New Years, and be drunk and play pool. Thats the game plan, unless that falls through and i wind up going to laurens, where ill get smashed and hopefully pass out. Anyways, yeah life is good right now. Jen.... is awesome! yeah, ok so im just chilling, doing nothing, maybe ill play v games or go shoot someone with the airsoft gun. Or skate. Cant forget to skate. Haha yeah, my life sux.
*vanishes* |
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|
| Christmas |
[Dec. 24th, 2003|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  In Love | ] |
Ahh hell its christmas time and after fighting about close and crap now i went to my Aunt Rosa's. Christmas party and im sober, theres a burn lol. Ok, was there and did nothing. played some cards, chilled with my cousin Sergeo. Yeah that was lame. church at 11 is coming. *shrugs* yay *sarcasm* sitting around and listening to the story and speech ive heard since i can remember. good times. Anyways, airsoft gun and cd player for christmas so far. God i love Jen, and i dont think ill ever let her go. Ever! so to all you sons of bitches out there who want to hit on my gf and date her.... FUCK YOU. Im lucky to have her, and on Christmas I give thanks to God. Thank you God, you sent me an angel. Someone who is perfect, and I want to be around and hold. Im lucky to have her, too many people like her. *growls at them* yes im possessive, but in a good way! hehe, anyways yeah im out. Peace.
I Love Jen
*vanishes* |
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|
| Shiat! |
[Dec. 21st, 2003|06:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
Aight, yeah friday blew. but on saturday we had this xmas thing with family and i got an airsoft gun (fire that shoots plastic bb's that hurt like a bitch if done right) now i begged for one of these for 3 months and because god thought i should have a weapon of some sort he had my uncle get me one. hell yes, thanks god, thanks uncle, fuck you to anyone who pisses me off. Now, its sunday. boring yes but jen showed up to give me my x mas present (fyi i got her a star saffire bracelet). Now here is true love, she gets me a sony cd player. ITS JEWLREY FOR FUCKING GUYS!!!! My mom was there, or i would have picked her up and kissed her right there. and just held her for hours. She is perfect, wouldnt change a damn thing about her. And oh shit again, if anyone thinks that im crazy for loving the girl you can go to hell! she is like this little piece of kickass in my life and the rest of it relatively blows. anyways, yeah things are looking up. now all i gotta do is shorten up my long list of ppl to hurt and everything will be good |
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|
| Nothing |
[Dec. 19th, 2003|10:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
I have nothing left to say. I gave jen her x-mas present, and thats the only thing that has gone well |
|
|
| *tired and disturbed* |
[Dec. 17th, 2003|03:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
Ok, I wake up as usual. I take my shower, dont comb my hair, get dressed, and chill. This mourning my mom go's fucking psycho cause my pants are tight legs and uses this lame as shitty excuse of my pants being too baggy and long and they will drag in the water. Im not fucking retarded! I can hold my pants up when i walk. So then she rants on about hemming them, and at that point im pissed enough to break stuff. so i change my pants, and the bus is just about to get here. So, I changed my pants, and then shes all have a nice day, i love you. so im like whatever and walk out the door. *pissed* and im still annoyed, cause now she is acting like she wasnt being a bitch. That pisses me off!!! So, then i go to school, saw jen. :) The only real plus to the day was her. Nothing too good happened. Its snowing, Hell yeah! I love the snow by the way. During the winter, if its not snowing its worthless so this is awesome for me. Aight, Jen i love you. Im out.
*vanishes* |
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|
| Later Today |
[Dec. 16th, 2003|08:53 pm] |
I got home, and i actually talked on the phone with Jen. I talked to people online. I realized there are a few people around that are really cool. The rest of you i hate. *shrugs* I love my gf, and im comfortable with saying that. My close friends i hold close to me. Old friends that i thought would be by my side forever and vanished. FUCK YOU! yeah, im out.
*vanishes* |
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|
| *Living* |
[Dec. 16th, 2003|03:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
I went to school, dragging my feet as usual. Saw Jen (hell yes) and got to cling to her arm as usual. Math, worthless, English worthless, SocialStudies worthless. The only class i dont have thats worthless is Films and History. To anyone out there, watching movies and getting a grade for it is the most useful thing ever. Ok, went to lunch. More worthlessness. Saw Jen, the only thing worth going ot lunch for. I then got home, sat down on the comp that im typing on now, and for the next ? hours ill be sitting here doing nothing. Blah fuck it im out. |
|
|
| Alive |
[Dec. 15th, 2003|07:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Anything Mushroom Head | ] |
*opens his eyes*
My first entry, To start I am Dan, More over here i refer to myself as Xaphan, The Fallen Angel. This is my journal of every day life, what i think and express. *shrugs*
Weekend: Mushroom Head
My weekend was ok, went to a dance. Saw Jen, thats all that mattered. (she is my gf, 3 months this friday)
Next was Saturday. That was the shit, mushroom head is now my new favorite band. Got up to the fence and caught a rag that they threw at the end. Afterwords stood out in the dumbass freezing cold waiting for em. 8 members, 8 signatures.
Sunday sucked, nothing happened and nothing mattered.
Today, two hour delay at school. Thats all i wanted, although Jen wasnt in school
(that fucking sucked!) I love her, to start she was amazing but as we have been together i just havent been able to find a flaw. i could sit for hours on end and not see a single thing wrong with her. She is everything i want in a girl, and hopefully it will stay that way*thinks it will*.
I went to class, and did nothing today. Absolutly fucking nothing, and it was amazing. I sat there, pretended to pay attention, and then the bell would ring. I did more thinking (everyone hates it when i think because "bad things happen") I thought about life as usual, and a dream ive had for the passed eh month or two. Its a nightmare actually, and even when i can control my dream i cant win which completly sux. *shrugs again* Ive currently been staying up for nights on end, and ive started going into dazes in school where i literally dont know whats going on or where i exactly am. Thats no big deal, cause most of the time i dont care where i am or anything. Well, thats all i think i have to say.
*vanishes* |
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